Thursday, September 08, 2005

Essay: Food, Sex and Guns


I was thinking about how appetizing this turkey looked to me. But in reality it’s just a burnt headless dead carcass, which I would proceed to rip the dead flesh apart with my teeth, suck it down into a rancid acid pit, squish it through a dark pounding gastric torture tunnel, and then squirt out the remains into a nasty dirty toilet bowl. It’s a very violent and filthy sequence of events. So my mind fools itself into believing that eating is a rather pleasant activity. But in reality, it is a somewhat horrifying procedure.

Then I thought about it. What else is my mind fooling itself about? Let’s take Ashley Judd as an example. I think she is attractive. But in reality, she is not that much different from a common wart toad. I mean she may be a little different, with a tuff of greasy hair on her head, and some growths on her chest, but basically she has the same slimy internal organs and functionality as a slimy frog. So in reality, she is somewhat a disgusting creature not so much unlike a giant maggot with a nob head and some lanky limbs.

So my mind may be fooling itself in order to survive. Because for my body to survive and procreate, my mind needs to think it enjoys food and sex. So that leads me to the subject of GUNS. I think guns represent beauty and perfection. To me it’s the perfect tool that catch me food and protect me from harm as I compete for sex. Yup, I tend to believe all killing has its roots in competition for food and sex (love, procreation.) So I like the feel and weight of cold steal in my hand; the explosive power it wields, the thunderous sounds it makes, and the smell of gun powder. But if you think about it, a gun is nothing more than a nasty killing tool.

This brings me to this roasted pig. I don’t find it appetizing, because it reminds me too much of a human with terrible steal shafts poking through it. But obviously others do find it appetizing, and also others do not like guns. So why do their minds fool them in the opposite manner than my mind fools me? Maybe it’s because each mind works from the different experiences of the individual. To the pig eater, the steal shafts may just represent the proper tools needed for pig roasting. To the anti-gunner, guns may represent an evil threat to their lives and loved ones.

So what does all this mean? It means this essay will mean nothing to some readers—and everything to other readers.  (Editor's note:  The artwork in this post is designed to enhance the reader's overall experience as permitted under World sanctions.  In no way were they meant to duplicate any other of the billions of hand drawn turkeys and pigs that otherwise may have been created in the past, present, or future.) 

8 comments:

Colleen said...

You are a real thinker. Your descriptive ways of writing are quite amusing. It's always a pleasure to visit your blog!

I agree with you about the pig - ewe - (dry heaves).... and the gun.

Guns are not evil. Only people have the ability to be evil. A gun in the hand of a good person is not necessarily a bad thing.

Billy said...

The way I see it, is if the gun isn't there, then we'd hear on the news about people getting beat with baseball bats more often. I think the ones against something will make the story become whatever they want it to be. You'll find whatever you set your desires to be.

Average White Guy said...

The enjoyment of eating will never be the same for me!

Anonymous said...

Call me, you animal...

Pappy said...

Meat is murder!

Pappy
Mackin with Pappy

Vince said...

Colleen--I am, therefore I think. I like asking anti-gunners if they would rather invite Jesus holding a firearm into their homes, or Jeffrey Dahmer holding a toothpick...

Billy--Hmm, wonder if terroists are against Baseball. Hey, how about 'extreme baseball' played in sand?

AWG--Don't worry, your mind can trick you into believing everything is delicious...

anony--Okay, I just sent you a mental call. Did you get it?

Pappy--I was out in the woods this weekend and was feeding a cute Chipmonk. An eagle swooped down out of no where and grabbed it up with its powerful talons. Life feeds upon itself to grow. Nasty business eh?

THE MATERIAL BOY said...

I love the pig pic! From where I come from, it's called lechon and it's one of the best ways to cook pigs!

No town festival or family gathering is complete without it!

BA~~68

Vince said...

Mboy--Yeah actually I have had lechon, very good. In Hawaii they bury the pig in the ground wrap it in banana leaves and cook it in there--very good too, but also kind of gross because when they take it out it looks like their digging up a corpse from the grave...