Friday, September 16, 2005

John Roberts Grilled

Roberts, pictured here (Note: Since I believe that 'photos' are nothing more than interpretations of vibrational energy that penetrates all space, then you ought to already have the image in your mind, so imagine it.)  as Senator Joe Biden (D-DE) grills him on his views of abortion at his confirmation hearing, and sticks him with this tough question, “Do you believe the opposite of being alive, is being dead?”


--What kind of ridiculous question is this anyway? Roberts actually paused to think before answering, “Yes, I do.”

Here is the complete dialog:

Biden: Do you believe the opposite of being alive, is being dead?
Roberts: Yes, I do.Biden: So you’re saying, if you are not alive, then you are dead?
Roberts: Not necessarily.Biden: Then if you are not alive, and not dead, then what else can you be?
Roberts: You can be just not born yet; you can’t die until you have been born and alive first.
Biden: So the unborn is neither alive nor dead?
Roberts: Not necessarily.Biden: So you can be alive, dead, or unborn, yet if you are unborn you can be either dead or alive?
Roberts: Yes.Biden: So are you alive if you are born?
Roberts: Not necessarily.Biden: So you can be either alive, or dead, or unborn, or born, yet if you are born you are not necessarily alive?
Roberts: Yes.Biden: So you can be born dead?
Roberts: Yes.Biden: But you said you can’t die unless you were alive first, so it would follow that if you are born dead, then you must have been alive while unborn, is that correct?
Roberts: Yes.Biden: So it follows that you are either born and dead, or born and alive, or unborn and alive, or unborn and dead?
Roberts: Not necessarily.Biden: Then what else can you be?
Roberts: You can be unborn, and neither alive nor dead; that is you may not only be unborn but you may also be un-conceived.Biden: So you are either born conceived and dead, or born conceived and alive, or unborn conceived and alive, or unborn conceived and dead, or unborn, and un-conceived, un-alive, and un-dead?
Roberts: Not necessarily.Biden: Then what else can you be?
Roberts: You can be born and conceived, and un-alive, and un-dead.
Biden: In other words, you are saying one can be either born conceived and dead, or born conceived and alive or unborn conceived and alive or unborn conceived and dead, or unborn, and un-conceived, un-alive, and un-dead or born, conceived, yet neither dead nor alive?
Roberts: Yes.Biden: I can understand how you can be unborn, and un-conceived, therefore un-dead and un-alive, but how can you be born, yet neither dead nor alive?
Roberts: Well, do you believe everything has an opposite?Biden: Yes.
Roberts: Then it follows that the opposite of ‘dead or alive’, is ‘neither dead nor alive’, so ‘neither dead nor alive’ is something you believe in by your own submission that everything has an opposite.Biden: But what does this mean?
Roberts: This basically means that you believe in the undead, the walking dead, Voodoo shamanism, and Zombie movies.Biden: But this is ridiculous.
Roberts: Exactly!!!

3 comments:

enz_ said...

not sure exactly why i continued reading this dumb line of questioning.... but the last few lines cracked me up

Roberts: This basically means that you believe in the undead, the walking dead, Voodoo shamanism, and Zombie movies.
Biden: But this is ridiculous.
Roberts: Exactly!!!

Seems like it came out of a script for a comedy show.

Steve said...

In no way is this a solicitation for a link but I am linking your site at my blog(s). Your writing is hilarious. My readers need to enjoy your site.

Vince said...

Enz--Yeah, sometimes people can get too serious. Zombies always seem to lighten things up.

Steve--Scary thing when you can be banned for 'telling it like it is'...I've added a link to your site too--Thanks.