Friday, August 15, 2008
Sara
Buster knew what he had to do. He had lived his life. He had seen it all. He had felt it all. He was free from any harm. He was magically free. Free to feel life.
Buster was so free, that he was like a phantom. And Buster could perform miracles. He was a miracle, but only because of Sara. And Sara--Sara was a living Goddess. Sara was a Goddess that could never actually be in the same place as Buster, because they repelled each other. They had to be apart; to touch would mean an explosion the universe was not ready for. But apart, they were all what the universe was supposed to be.
But Sara began to feed off of Buster’s presence. A dance began. A dance the Gods could see would change the universe. And the dance has changed the universe. Sara and Buster’s lives overlapped as one, but they were two. And as two, they were beautiful. The universe finally realized its purpose; to be apart, but together.
Buster could see this. He knew this in his heart from the beginning—from before the beginning. He was born for it. And Sara was born for it. Sara. It’s her turn to live and be free. Free from harm. Free from bad feelings. Free to feel life. Free from anything that can hurt her. Free from Buster.
The universe loves Sara’s dance, a dance with life and a phantom she created; a dance in two places at once; a dance that can’t stop, but can only expand--a dance that set Buster free, and will set Sara free.
Sara. Her life will never end, because it is life itself—and Buster, a mere phantom, will always be a part of Sara, and apart from Sara. Sara set Buster free, and Buster will set Sara free--free to lead her destiny…There is nothing as special as this moment. There is nothing that can surpass the significance in life as this moment--this moment where Buster set Sara free. Bye, Sara.
Friday, August 08, 2008
time machine
I have no idea what to blog about, so I just wrote "time machine" the first thing to pop into my mind, and now I have to write about it, haha.
Well, actually I saw this girl 10 years ago when she was 18 and I was twice her age at 36. She did something special for me. Then I saw her a couple months later by chance and she did something for me again. Then two years after that she appears out of nowhere and did something super special for me. Then seven months ago she shows up out of nowhere again and she does something for me that is like a miracle. But I did not recognize it was her until 5 months ago, I had forgotten all about her. But when I remembered, I could not believe she was the one responsible for everything good that has happened in my life.
So in the past 5 months I got to actually get to know her. And she is the most unbelievable person I have ever known. She is just magical, she glows. She is like perfect.
Turns out something extraordinary happened to me at the place she now works on the day she was born, and when I was 18. This something happened again the other day at another place that she now works. This something that happened to me on the day she was born (I did not know her though, until 18 years later) was so special, I named it. I gave it two names. It turns out one name is her name, and the other is her nickname.
So this girl has been like somehow weaved into my life in a spectacular way since the day she was born. And turns out she lives like one minute from my house. The thing is we are not each other's type. We have nothing in common other than she keeps appearing in my life and making everything okay when I don't know what to do. We don't have fun together, we are happier when we are apart.
It's like we are caught in a time machine and she is a phantom and can never really be there when I am. When we are together we repel each other. There is so much energy between us that we can never get too close or we’ll like explode. But we can see each other from afar and we are fine.
Now I am becoming the ghost and not her. It is she who now seems to feed off of my presence. It is she who is being affected. I am now the one who appears when she needs it. The energy between us is like a mystical dance. We are connected, but can never touch for long, because we are caught in a time machine at different times in space. Our lives overlap as one, yet we are two.
All I know for sure is that since we are caught at different times in this time machine, then nothing can ever break the bond we have, because our bond exists in two places at once. And the tool hasn’t even been invented that can touch something like that.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Christmas with half a heart
and the lungs and skin feel the cold.
A pocket of fire soothes the blight
and chestnuts simmer in their leathery hold
The beat of my heart holds me tight
under sounds of wood crackling bold.
And the memories of you, smiling with all your might.
Have you tasted the smell of cold?
The chestnuts are little hearts.
A heart shaped mold
of icy tears grip my face tight.
Life is magic so I am told
but fear and sadness are winning the fight.
We are together in our snow globe
but still you are far from sight.
Have you tasted the smell of cold
and held on with all your might?
You are my savior, my little heart.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Have Gun Will Travel
A 14 year old boy got suspended from school for drawing this picture in class, because it depicted a gun.
Kid: I was bored.
Cop: Does the guy on the left depict anyone in particular, like a teacher?
Kid: No.
Cop: Then who is he?
Kid: Just some random guy I guess.
Cop: Do you think its okay to shoot random people?
Kid: No.
Cop: Do you have any guns in your home?
Kid: No.
Cop: Do you often think about shooting people?
Kid: No, except when I’m playing some video games.
Cop: Do you enjoy those games?
Kid: Yeah, they are fun.
Cop: Describe why they are fun to you.
Kid: Well, you are fighting for your life, and that’s exciting. Other games you can kill anything you want and that’s power I guess. Fun.
Cop: Did you know shooter video games are just like practice for killing?
Kid: I thought it was just play, and different from real life.
Cop: Let me put it this way, if I gave you my gun right now, would you try to shoot everybody?
Kid: No, I’m not a bad guy, and I’m not stupid.
Cop: What’s a bad guy to you?
Kid: Someone who treats others bad.
Cop: Why do they treat others bad?
Kid: You tell me. You’re the one treating me bad right now. Why?
Cop: Because you drew a gun and may be a threat to society.
Kid: Anybody can draw a gun, so that makes everybody a threat. So that justifies treating everybody bad?
Cop: Yes, if need be.
Kid: So you are a bad guy, and society is a bad guy, and we are all bad, is that what you are saying?
Cop: Yup.
Kid: Then why pick on me?
Cop: Because you’re an easy target, and we get paid: I get paid, your probation officer will get paid, your criminal psychiatrist will get paid, the FBI who will put you on their permanent watch list will get paid…We have the power.
Kid: So ‘power’ is the key because it keeps society getting paid? And good or bad does not matter?
Cop: It’s all about who has the power brother.
Kid: So how do I get in on this power?
Cop: You just have to prostitute yourself to it. If you’re not a whore, then you’re just another potential John about to get screwed.
Kid: Okay, cool... Well all this is just a mistake. I did not draw a gun, it’s a boomerang. The guy on the left threw it to the guy on the right who caught it.
Cop: Haha! I think you will fit into society well kid. You are free to go...
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Finally Something Positive
The chicks wandered into the tiger cub cage, and were not harmed. See, this is what I'm talking about!
This picture holds the meaning of life. It's right there all around us, all the time. Cherish it. Cherish the moments. Cherish the time we have.
(just thought I'd mix this blog up a little--you know, a little this, a little that...)
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Season of Angels
I could not find the infamous invisible flying plant in Australia. But I found a pub that served beer, bangers and mash, and kangaroo meat. And I found a Catholic Church with a huge stone Angel. All I could think of was how Divine she looked, and how ironic it would be if she fell on me and killed me—“Man killed by an Angel”
So that gave me an idea for a new mission—to search for a real Angel.
So I’m leaving for Singapore tomorrow to sin. I figure that ought to attract an Angel or two—you know, to try to save me from sin.
If I don't catch an Angel in two weeks, then I’m going to Paris to sin. If still no Angel, then I’m off to Rome and the Vatican (there’s gotta be Angels around there.) If still no Angel, I'll go chill in Ireland and settle for a Leprechaun. I won’t be back until April next year, so I’ll let everyone know what happens when I get back.
Have a nice New Year!
Friday, September 22, 2006
From Vince, to Lucy
A full-scale model of "Lucy," the celebrated skeletal remains of a female hominid who lived 3.2 million years ago, is seen at a prehistoric museum in Bidon, France. Lucy will leave Ethiopia next year for her first-ever foreign exhibition, officials said.(AFP/File)She opens her eyes. Her babies are snuggled under a bush in front of her. She is thirsty and the sound of the stream calls to her. The stream; it could be dangerous there, and as she walks towards it, her alertness sharpens. After-all, everything drinks from that stream. And a great deal of them could run much faster than she, and they are bigger, and they may want to eat her.
Oh, the water feels good. She looks back at her babies. Mam, the eldest of the females, is sitting next to them now. And there is Luk, watching her with one thing on his mind.
The past or future is not in her vocabulary. Neither is money, or time, or worry, or love. But she has the feeling of love with her family. And she has a similar feeling of love with the water that makes love to her body, the sky that tells her when to sleep, and the land with its endless wonders, and the berries she only knows as ‘Suk’--her favorite.
She leads a lonely life, but is too busy living to know it--a lonely life, because she is the only one inside her mind. Everything else is outside. She likes it when Mam scratches her back.
All that she wants is another baby. She walks up to Luk, turns her back, and makes her pose. All that she wants is another baby…
Hi Blogland visitors (if anyone’s still out there)--hope you are all doing well!!! I've been away from Blogland on various extra-curricular excursions. I'm taking a journey next week to Australia again for 40 days and 40 nights. Then I'm back here sometime in November.
As some of you know (April 13th post) my last expedition to Australia to catch the first invisible butterfly (Belenois Invisibilis) failed miserably.
This time, I’m going after something a little less elusive. A plant! I’m tentatively calling this plant the Arundiganth Amamilis. But it’s currently an undiscovered new species, and still just a rumor, but my sources and instinct tells me it’s out there in the Northern Territory—and I’m going to catch one. I say catch, because according to my contacts, this plant can apparently uproot itself and blow with the wind.
I’m bringing my goggles, magnifying glass, Petri dish, rubber ant proof suit, and my usual Safari gear. Wish me luck!
Thursday, August 24, 2006
A World Without Men:
The Whiptail lizard already does this. They are all female. But since offspring are all basically clone copies of the mom, the species has to rely on mutation to adapt and evolve.
9. God and the Bible will be obsolete—maybe there will be a Goddess though.
8. No more tampons or cramps—the whole system will change.
7. A two day work week—5 day weekend to better accommodate emotional needs.
6. Nuclear weapons will be gone—women are just not too good in math or war anyway.
5. Open sewers will be popular again—when’s the last time you saw a woman plumber?
4. Everyone will live in a shopping mall.
3. Women will be more beautiful, their breasts will look better, and they will make love with whoever they want, and whenever they want—just to spite the ghost of man.
2. Movies will be boring—I mean really.
And the number 1 change…
1. David Hasselhoff will be President of the United States—don’t ask!
Thursday, August 10, 2006
The Greatest American Dessert!
I ALWAYS eat desert before or during my main meal. I just don’t want a terrorist to show up and make my last mouthful a spoon of green beans. I’d rather go with a banana split in my mouth.
But not all people believe in, or benefit from the banana split. Terrorists, for example, would surely be a more peaceful folk had they discovered the charms of the ultimate fruity delight. And you can’t find a banana split in
Hog wash!!! You just gotta learn to balance things.
Speaking of balance, there is a time in every man’s life when a banana split becomes more attractive than a woman. I mean a banana split ALWAYS shows you a good time. You can count on a banana split. A banana split won’t argue with you, it just submits to your ravishing. A banana split is variety all in one, not like most women. And women claim to be sugar and spice and everything nice; but they still fart like everybody else. A banana split does not fart.
So a banana split has a place on my bike anytime. But a woman? Well, maybe if her name is Kristen Scott Thomas. Or Gwyneth Paltrow. Or Ashley Judd. Or Heather Grant. Or if she doesn’t mind dressing up like a banana split. Or if she wears perfume that smells like flowers, yeah, that will work too. Or popcorn. Perfume that smells like buttered popcorn. Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Why I ride
A buddy and I have a smoke outside the sushi bar after lunch…Bud: Why do you ride that motorcycle anyway?
Vin: It’s a chick magnet.
Bud: What, you like chicks that smoke, drink beer and have tattoos?
Vin: Heck yeah! Besides, it attracts all women—the danger, the inhibition—turns ‘em on.
Bud: It attracts skanks. You like skanks?
Vin: Heck yeah!
Bud: Liar!
Vin: What? You just don’t know the beauty of a skank.
Bud: Haha, what beauty? A crack head skank? You’re tellin’ me you would do a slutty, oily, sweaty, smelly dirty skank?
Vin: [I pause to think]
Bud: Haha See? You wouldn’t.
Vin: No, I was just thinking of some skanks I’ve met. You just don’t have a clue ‘cause you never get out. The skanks I’m thinking of—they’re the bomb man, I’d do ‘em in a heart beat!
Bud: You’re full of sh_t!
Vin: Fine, more for me, you’ll never know what your missing. A skank is like Heaven on Earth dude.
My buddy shakes his head, and just then a skank comes out of the liquor store and he starts cracking up.
Bud: Hey! What’s you’re tee-shirt say? [to the skank]
The skank turns around and shows him, it says “Guys and Brains Don’t Mix!”
Bud: Hey, I don’t agree with that!
Skank: You agree with this? [she lifts her shirt over her breasts.]
Bud: [Jaw drops]
Vin: Damn!
Skank: [puts her shirt back down.] You wanna help me carry this bag to my car?
My buddy helps her to her car, carrying her little bag full of probably smokes, condoms and booze. He comes back with a phone number and a big smile on his face.
Bud: Look what I got. Oh yeah baby! See how it’s done!
Vin: You got a phone number of a skank, wake up!!!
Bud: But you were just saying…
Vin: You gotta be choosey when you go skanking homer, not all skanks are equal. I can’t believe you just got pussy whipped by a skank.
Bud: Well I like this one, her name’s Sara.
Vin: I don’t care if her name’s Paris Hilton, you’ll need triple layer condoms with that one.
Bud: Don’t worry about it. Hey, I need to borrow your bike tomorrow night.
Vin: No way. Why?
Bud: I told her the bike was mine…
Monday, July 24, 2006
Give me some of that!
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
HEY!
A professor working under a Hartford research grant was mauled to death by this Gorilla while he was trying to determine its intelligence. The only evidence of what happened is on this partial tape recording:
Prof: Okay, what letter comes after Q?
Gorilla: Arrrr!
Prof: Okay, good. Now talk like a Pirate.
Gorilla: Arrrrr!
Prof: Great, now what do you say when Jennifer Lopez walks into the room?
Gorilla: Ooo Ooo.
Prof: Terrific, good job.
Gorilla: Hey!
Prof: Excuse me? What did you say? Did you say Hey? Say it again!
Gorilla: (silence)
Prof: Common, say it again for the tape, say HEY!
Gorilla: (silence)
Prof: SAY HEY!
Gorilla: (silence)
Prof: COME ON, SAY IT AGAIN YOU DAMN DIRTY APE!
Gorilla: ARRRRRRRRG !! [SLAM! BAM! click*]
Hezbollah
Adi: Hezbollah? I’ve seen you around. But you and your friends have nothing to offer me. It does not matter if I think you attractive, or admire your abstract for fine dining. It does not matter that you choose to live in a grave and play with dirt and explosives. I’m simply not interested in playing with you right now. As you should know, I am with Walter now. Trust me; a man of your charms will have no problem getting all the attention you require. Just keep asking for it, and you shall receive. Just not from me, right now.
Walter: Hezbollah? What you want to compete for Adi? Shii-ut! Do you know who I am? (oh wait, I think that line has been overused lately by a Hoss, or Huff, or Hoff or whatever.) Let me try again--I’m busy right now dude. But I’ll be civil for Adi’s sake, and as a token of my love for Adi, I am sending over my photographer Bert, to take your picture with his new Cannon RG9000. This way Adi will have something special to remember you by. Oh, and remember, when Bert gets there, don’t forget to say Goat Cheese!
Hezbollah, say CHEESE!
Monday, July 17, 2006
Epilogue: Walter and Carl create their destinies
I gave him a beret as a going away present, and a French Cuisine Cook Book, and some seeds to start his own garden. Walter is happy and at peace, and can barely wait to unite with his true love Jewel (Adi) and his newly created family.
Carl left this morning carrying his cannon balls and some scuba gear. He’s hitchhiking to LA to reunite with Amber. Carl has completely rehabilitated the wound Tori Spelling gave him, and he’s stronger than ever. There is no room for his cannon balls in his backpack, but he cleverly chained them to his new Prince Albert so he can carry them in his pants.
Carl plans to take Amber to the Tar Pits. Then a quiet stroll through East LA. And to top off their first date, they will take a ferry to Catalina Island for a weekend of crab fishing and scuba diving.
Both Walter and Carl want to thank PDD for her diligence and match making ability, and look forward to living blissful lives with their new friends—love is in the cards for them.
Message from Walter:
Apparently Walter broke up with Hellenisva early this morning. Hellenisva ate 12 bananas and a birthday cake for breakfast; then afterwards, while having sex in Walter’s camper trailer, she started farting something fierce. The small quarters made things unbearable, but worse, the romantic candle display exploded in flames and all hell broke loose. Not Walter’s idea of love spawned fireworks. No one was harmed, but Walter is now homeless.
Walter needs a home. Will Adi and Alona consider adopting Walter? After Amichai’s letter, Walter has fallen in love with the Whole Family. He said he’ll be a good little boy from now on, and will let Adi give him sponge baths and tuck him into bed on cold winter nights. Will the Goldstein’s accept Walter into their home, and be the loving family he’s never had?
