Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Nagasaki Sara Udon

This photo right here features a plate of Nagasaki sara udon.  

Only a comparative few have ever seen such a thing before, let alone have had a chance to eat it.  

Um, nobody even knows about this blog, but if it were a popular blog, then only one or two people out of like 300 million will have actually tasted this flavor-filled ensemble of delight. 

It is a rare dish indeed that can command a comparable level of anticipation as the Nagasaki sara udon.  

A dish such as this is the supreme analogy of a sexy woman.  I mean, we can look at her, smell her, and imagine her;  but to truly experience a sexy woman, one must taste her delicately.  One does not simply engulf a dish like this with wanton haste.  One saviors every centimeter with lingering mouthfuls of melting succulence.  

Okay engulfing it is fun too, but just try to eat it slow sometimes.  You know, if you happen to be the one in 300 million who ever even get close enough to one of these things to feel its exotic steam caressing your moistened lips.


Thursday, January 17, 2013

Copyright Law Guide for Stupid Idiots

This is an informational post provided to clarify the complexities of copyright law for the benefit of the common stupid idiot for the purpose of avoiding lawsuits.  

Original Painting of the Molenalisa: all rights reserved.

We will use the painting to the left as a sample.  In this case, I painted a picture of a hairy mole on my buddies face. 

  • This would seem LEGAL, because it is a work of art I labored to paint. 
  • But it is ILLEGAL, because instead of looking at my buddies actual face, I painted the picture by looking at a copy of a picture that my buddy took of his mole, thus making a copy of his copy, which is ILLEGAL.
  • But, there is a way I can make this LEGAL again.  Under the  "Fair Use" law, I can paint a copy of his copy LEGALLY if I criticize and pass judgement on his copy of his mole as required by law:  So here goes, "The hairy mole in this picture is very ugly, and belongs to my buddy who is a stupid idiot."  --There.  It's that simple!  Now my copy of my buddies copy of his copy of his mole that you see on your screen is LEGAL again. Cool. 
  • But there can be a problem.  If I use my camera and take a proud self-portrait of myself,  and the image of my heretofore LEGAL painting of the copy of my buddies mole from the copy of my buddies photocopy of his mole shows up in the mirror behind me as a reflection of a reflection on my kitchen window, of my computer screen, then this will once again make my painting of my buddies mole ILLEGAL as it shows up in my picture of me in the background as a reflection of a reflection of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of my friends mole.  So now my pic is ILLEGAL again.
  • But only the part of the new picture showing the reflection of my computer screen is ILLEGAL.
  • But I can make it wholly LEGAL again by getting down on my knees and kissing my buddies bare feet, and beg him to allow me to keep the reflection in my picture.
  • Once this is done, my buddy can still sue me because I have a photographic memory and hold a copy of the image of his mole in my mind, making it ILLEGAL again so he can sue anyways.
  • But I can make it LEGAL again by allowing my buddy to hit me in the head with a rock until he is satisfied my memory is erased, or have my brain wiped clean electromagnetically, or have my frontal lobes surgically removed.
Just to be safe, I would also: 

  • Keep all my paint brushes, computers, and cameras in a locked safe at all times
  • Get trigger locks on my cameras
  • Only limit my cameras to a one gig memory capacity
  • Include all said articles as hazards in my insurance policies
  • Never carry a camera concealed, or loaded with batteries
  • Only shoot photos or draw if my life depends on it
  • And have at least 5 defense lawyers on retainer and spread evenly across the nation.  

Monday, January 14, 2013


Vince Parker Photo of Painting

I bought this painting...

I just like to look at it.  The atmosphere is kind of melancholy, and alien.  It's in a different time and different place than I am right now.  I would love to be in that place, in the painting, and find out where everybody is headed to.  A train station?  A horse race?  

But I like any kind of painting better than photos.  Why?  Well here are some reasons: 

  • If a painting is of a beautiful woman, I can stare at it for hours without being labeled a pervert...I'll be an artisan instead.
  • A painting speaks to my creative side more; like I can look at a photo of a car and say, "cool".  But a 'painting' of a car will trigger my mind into a whirlwind of possibilities, and I will end up saying, "Yeah Baby!"
  • I can hang paintings of people on my wall.  Doing that with photos, and my friends will think I'm a stalker or a freak!
  • No way would I hang a photo of my cat on the wall!
  • A painting lasts longer and does not rip easily.
  • My paintings may sell for hundred's of thousands of dollars in 50 years, and my photo's, well, they'd end up in a shoe box. 
  • I can take a picture of my painting...Who takes pictures of pictures?
  • A painting tells a whole story.  A photo of the same thing just takes a snapshot in time.
  • I've dreamed of paintings...Never have I dreamed of a photo. 
  • It's harder for someone to steal my painting, then it would be to steal my photo from the internet.
  • My cat can sit down in front of a painting and enjoy it.  But the photos she just walks over them like they're some obstacles.   


Monday, January 07, 2013


Big battery E-cigs--works of Art!

These babies plume vapor at 5 volts.  Low resistance atomizers for a bigger hit.  They stand like 9 inches tall, so probably not everyone can handle it.  

And it takes a special kind of person to use these responsibly.  A person that is all about safety, because these things can blow up in your mouth if your not careful.  Batteries can go BOOM! Missing teeth and that, or a fire rocket in your pocket.

So if you want one of these, it's recommended to do extensive research on battery safety, atomizers, juice mixing if you make your own juice (nicotine is a poison and can kill--Keep Out Of Reach of Little Ones!  Keep them in your gun safe, the brass 'pipe and bolt' looking one will look good next to your Ruger single shot .44 magnum.

There are no real regulations on these things, you can vape on a plane, at work, and in restaurants.  But I wouldn't recommend it unless you're looking for trouble.  People tend to frown on those who like to hold cold steel in their hands and who love the smell of gun smoke.  Yeah, you can make gun smoke flavored juice!  

The brass one is my fav, probably because it doubles as a pair of brass knuckles.  The stainless still one on the left is the one I use most, only because it has a lock so I can carry it concealed without it firing off in my pocket.  The adapter juice bottle pops off easily, and is used for long drives for a steady stream of vape without having to re-load when driving.

Lighting up a monolog cig will kill you as sure as inhaling bullets.  So if you're responsible enough to safely keep your guns, then you can be responsible enough to live a long life, and one day see your guns sellin' on E-bay for 100k.  Not that you'd wanna sell off such works of art.