Thursday, August 24, 2006

A World Without Men:

Someone sent me a lizard in the mail. I’m going to take it with me tomorrow for a 4 day road trip to Reno for good luck. The lizard made me think of the Y chromosome. They say in about 125,000 years the Y chromosome will completely disappear, and along with it the human male. Females will become unisexual and capable to reproduce without the need for a man.

The Whiptail lizard already does this. They are all female. But since offspring are all basically clone copies of the mom, the species has to rely on mutation to adapt and evolve.

So what if we woke up tomorrow and we lived in a world without men? What would be changed? Well, here are the top 10 changes:

10. The death penalty for being gay that currently exists in 9 countries won’t exist—since everyone will probably be lesbian.

9. God and the Bible will be obsolete—maybe there will be a Goddess though.

8. No more tampons or cramps—the whole system will change.

7. A two day work week—5 day weekend to better accommodate emotional needs.

6. Nuclear weapons will be gone—women are just not too good in math or war anyway.

5. Open sewers will be popular again—when’s the last time you saw a woman plumber?

4. Everyone will live in a shopping mall.

3. Women will be more beautiful, their breasts will look better, and they will make love with whoever they want, and whenever they want—just to spite the ghost of man.

2. Movies will be boring—I mean really.

And the number 1 change…
1. David Hasselhoff will be President of the United States—don’t ask!


Jozee said...

Interesting interpretation.
Writing from Noho where the coffee is strong and so are the women.

Will have to post a pic of that slogan for you.

Colleen said...

Great picture! I particularly like the lizard.

If there were only women, PMS would become a holiday every month - where women don't have to do anything but sit on their arses and can eat like pigs. haha!

Steve said...

Ha... So much for Women's Suffrage! They'd all form cliques and have to be all sensitive to each other's feelings!

Erin O'Brien said...

I trust the lizard brought you luck.

Excuse me. The rolls are done.

Stay tuned.

Vince said...

Jozee--I'd like to try some of that coffee! And the women too!

Colleen--I like the lizard too. Did you notice the highlights in the hair? Eatig like pigs will probably be a weekly ritual though.

Steve--Tell me about it. What are they complaining for? They ought to treat us extra nice. When we're gone, they'll have to cook, clean, tend the baby, AND work.

erin--The lizard brought me mucho luck--thanks. I won 1300 bucks. The lizard somehow escaped after I got back, but I found him in the garage...

Denny Shane said...

125,000 years huh? Wonder what I'll be doing?

RocksAndChairs said...

i'm all for no more tampons and cramps. technically movies won't be boring since it will be women watching them anyway...and if there's no more men how could hasselhoff be president? he's kind of a guy isn't he?

Colleen said...

Hey Vince, it looks like you've spent some time away from your blog too... like me. I hope everything is going great with you.

Vince said...

Denny--Yup, 125,000 years until we are zoned out...Relatively a short time compared to the millions of years males have been walking around with useless nipples--a mistake we were from the beginning.

Rock--You always make sense. As for Hasseldorf, some folks don't see him as a guy.

Colleen--Yeah, everything is fine...Just busy doing fun stuff, but neglecting other fun stuff like blogging...I'll visit your blog soon to see what's up. Hope everything is okay with you too.